I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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