Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
