She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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