That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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