i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
