mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
