They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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