real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
