Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
