I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
