I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
