my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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