3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
