If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
