FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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