You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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