Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
