Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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