I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
