I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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