ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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