I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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