ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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