David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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