im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
