Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
