eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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