Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I love you. Go after that dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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