I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
