White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
