census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
