Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
