His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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