It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
