I heard we made out
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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