Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I need moral support for this bender
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
