ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
