I wanna passion pit in your ass
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
