I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
this boner is exhausting
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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