This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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