My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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