i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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