good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
