Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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