I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
