What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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