She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We talked him into tasing himself.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
