the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
