Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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