ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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